Forgone opportunities, Tips #9-12

9. Make your children your first priority, which means asking yourself whether the temporary sacrifices you are asking your kids to make are for their benefit or yours. Marla had to realize when she divorced Kenny that she could not be divorced, be a full-time student, be a stay-at-home mom, and live at the same standard of living. She might have been able to pick even three of those, but not all four.

10. Your marriage will teach your kids more about marriage than they’ll learn from anywhere else. Reducing the embarrassing divorce rate starts not with adults but instead with kids, who don’t yet have such a temporary view of marriage. Armando possessively kept his wife Lena from leaving him because he knew his financial circumstances would plummet if she did.

11. Understand the blow that divorce will inflict on your children, and don’t set yourself up for divorce because you failed to inspect the goods before you signed the bill of sale. Most of the time, people don’t suddenly or even gradually morph into beasts or freaks. If they are, they probably already were. Homer complained about flaws that Mae had before they were married. He knew he wasn’t marrying a Penthouse model who was fully emotionally adjusted, so he had no right to complain about it a quarter-century after the fact.

12. If, on the other hand, you do enter with eyes wide-open and still make a dumb mistake, bear the brunt of your own foolishness so that your kids don’t have to pay the price for your stupidity. Roderick may have been overwhelmed by Della and her six kids, but he knew what he was getting into when he married her. Thus, he lost the privilege of complaining that he was working two jobs to support the family and still could not afford a Waverunner.