Consistency in discipline

Reach consensus on discipline methods so that those are not points of contention in your marriage. Some believe that putting forth a united front even when you patently disagree with your spouse makes you a hypocrite. I don’t see it that way. You are not a hypocrite because you have not said something you don’t mean. As long as you do not promise your children that you will always agree with your spouse—and you could never keep that promise, anyway—your private disagreement and public avowal of your spouse’s parenting decisions keeps you true to the only promise you should make to your kids: to support the other parent. This advice is equally applicable to divorced families as to married ones, although I admit it’s harder in the former than the latter.

Most parents have no problem allowing each other to use any legal disciplinary methods. However, I think it is also important to make a rule that no shame-based discipline methods will be used to correct your children, because those approaches are just cruel and won’t work, anyway.