1. If this is your first holiday since your divorce . . .

. . . minimize the presence of any new partners in your time with your kids. As far as your kids are concerned, the new partner is, at least at this point, an intruder who is replacing their mom or dad—and far too soon. Parenting classes will tell you to wait at least a year before introducing new partners to your existing family. If you have not succeeded in waiting that long, put the relationship on hold for a day or even a couple of hours of that day to give your kids the assurance that you value them enough to preserve their routines and the special time they want to spend with you. Kids of all ages need as much of their routine to stay the same post-divorce as it did during the marriage. Parents who divorce have already asked their children to change enough of their lives; adding the further imposition of embracing a new relationship is too much for them to have to manage. Insisting that your kids meet, socialize, or exchange gifts with your new partner will greatly delay or even eliminate the possibility of integrating that person into the children’s lives.