Creating a win-win outcome in mediation

The legal arena tends to focus on winners and losers. In fact, I can’t think of any other profession (other than maybe competitive sports) that defines success as beating someone else. For one person to rise, another must fall. Because divorce mediation has really been around only since the 1980s in full force, people still cling to the mentality that they must fight tooth and nail when they are getting a divorce. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

The essence of mediation is to give each side as much of what it is seeking while not depriving the other side of what is most vital to that side. I heard a family court judge say once that his idea of a successful case was one in which neither party left the courtroom happy. In mediation, I’m proud to say, the satisfaction rate is in the high 90s, and everyone leaves the process with something good. People also are much more likely to comply with an agreement if they have had a hand in creating it, and if their beliefs and fears are respected and honored.