Your own example will teach your kids more about the value and permanency of marriage than any quantity of preaching. Tom was rightfully concerned when Jean wanted to move in with her boyfriend just a couple months after the separation, before the divorce was even final.
22.
You may not have known about your spouse’s current baggage, or maybe the issues did not exist before. But either way, even if you were just negligent in being with that person, making kids with such a character ratchets the foolishness up to fully informed stupidity. Brad wanted a home free of alcohol and drugs, because he had been raised by two alcoholics. Problem was, Gail was both and alcoholic and a drug addict.
23.
There’s probably no more frequent activity, at least in an American home, than eating, so you and your spouse ought to have like standards, and, ideally similar tastes. Ron objected when Ann wanted to raise her children on a vegan diet. Although he usually ate vegan and organic, he didn’t want to be forced to do it for everything he put into his children’s mouths.
a.
Even when you quit or take a temporary leave of absence from the spouse team, you’re still co-captains of the parenting team, which is important for participants in marital squabbles of any length to remember. Harold and Angie, despite that their marriage had collapsed, agreed on everything related to the parenting of their children.
24.
Giving kids a voice is excellent parenting, but affording them a vote or a veto so they must juggle adult responsibilities, is as cruel as it is neglectful. Make a rule that potential activities, expenditures, or changes to the routine will begin with a discussion between the parents. You want to be certain that your children will not hatch a plan, conspire with their other parent, and make you the party-pooper when you have to say “no.” Marvin and Sheila couldn’t agree on much of anything, particularly her contention that Marvin tried to one-up her by stealing her parenting time with exciting activities for the children that Sheila could never afford.
25.
Your first duty, when you have kids, is to your kids, and you must pledge to love them unconditionally even when you can’t or won’t do that for each other. When NBA star Brandon Roy had his first child, he commented, “I didn’t know I could love someone this much.” Even though Alejandro cheated on Melody unapologetically, they treated each other civilly and raised two amazingly well-adjusted children who made their parents proud.
No comments:
Post a Comment