Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a method that my clients often find effective during and after divorce. Sonja Alsofi, whose information has previously been posted on this blog, provides the following summary of CBT. Please visit Ms. Alsofi's website for more information about her practice.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps clients to use their rationality to change the way they think and feel...

CBT, pioneered by Aaron Beck, provides a simple and effective method for overcoming certain kinds of thinking patterns that tend to lead to sadness, hopelessness, anxiety, or anger. CBT has been shown to be at least as effective as medication for treating depression and anxiety disorders.

The lesson of CBT is that how we think has a profound effect on how we feel. Since we can challenge irrational, negative thought patterns, we can change negative emotional patterns as well...

CBT is a powerful tool to help people feel better. It cannot provide a simple answer to the questions of existence. CBT work typically involves looking at how clients think, with an emphasis on how they talk to themselves in their own heads. When there is a critic inside you saying "look, you messed up again--just like you always do", it's easy to start feeling discouraged. Clients to identify these kinds of thoughts and then to challenge those thoughts.

Other evidence-based techniques:
• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)
• Emotionally Focused Therapy
• Narrative Therapy
• Behavioral Therapy

If you wish to contact Ms. Alsofi, please do so:

1020 SW Taylor #660
Portland, OR 97205
(503) 222-5570
www.counseling-resources.com
sonja.alsofi@gmail.com

Depth Psychotherapy

Sonja Alsofi, a Portland therapist, practices Depth Psychotherapy. I decided to share some of her strategies and information in hopes that the readers of this blog could acquaint themselves with this methodology. For further information, please visit Ms. Alsofi's website, or contact her via the methods at the end of the article.

Because people are not just a collection of symptoms...respectful counseling takes into account people's hopes, dreams, and spirituality...
Depth Psychotherapy works with the whole spectrum of human experience, using emotions, creativity, and dreams as opportunities to explore and create the self. Through this process, clients are able to learn more about who they are, what they believe in, and what they care most deeply about. My role is to assist this exploration, and to help clients use insight to create a more fulfilling, authentic life.

The so-called "evidence-based" practices, including CBT and DBT approaches, provide effective, quick methods for managing undesirable emotions. However, these techniques are just the beginning of working with a client. For example, consider these different kinds of sadness: loss of a loved one, loss of a career, loss of spiritual faith, or loss of self-respect. While managing the immediate feeling of loss and grief may involve similar techniques, the work that this sadness asks of us may be quite different.

The techniques and ideas to do depth work with clients come from the following traditions:
• Existentialism
• Humanism
• Jungian Psychology
• Mindfulness and Meditation

If you wish to contact Ms. Alsofi, please do so:
1020 SW Taylor #660
Portland, OR 97205
(503) 222-5570
www.counseling-resources.com
sonja.alsofi@gmail.com

Sex Therapy Information from Dr. Chris Allen, Ph.D.

This information is excerpted from the website of Dr. Chris Allen, Ph.D.:
In many situations, people really need support to work things out in their relationship, and that in turn helps with their sexual issues. In addition, working on sexuality also can have a nice effect on the relationship – so in many cases, it’s beneficial to view both issues as two halves of one whole. Certainly, these can be very personal issues that may be difficult to discuss. I bring a relaxed, open approach to the therapy, providing a sense of “safety” and openness that ultimately leads to clients feeling more aware of, and communicative about, their sexual needs. I provide sex therapy to individuals and to both members of the relationship. In my sex therapy practice, these are frequent issues that we work on together:

* Problems with desire and differences in desire
* Lack or loss of physical attraction
* The role of Inhibitions and shyness in sexuality
* Body Image Concerns
* Sexual Difficulties related to Illness
* Sexually Transmitted Illness and Disease
* Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Pornography
* Shame and Perfectionism

Dr. Allen's contact information is as follows:
2049 NW Hoyt St.
Portland, OR 97209
Tel: 503-226-9990
Fax: 503-961-8755
Email: chrisallenphd@gmail.com
Website: www.drchrisallen.net

Purposes of Couples' Therapy

I always like to provide more information about couples' therapy, especially for those people who may be hesitant to go or who may believe it will not help them. From Dr. Chris Allen, Ph.D., here are some examples of issues that frequently are discussed in couples’ therapy:

* Communication difficulties, such as anxiety about communicating what each partner is experiencing and needing
* Loss of physical and emotional passion
* Differences and similarities between men and women
* Differences and similarities between same-sex partners
* Separation, divorce, and parenting
* Parenting issues, including parenting special needs children and the challenges to the couple
* Affairs outside of the primary relationship (e.g., what causes affairs, how to recover from them, etc.)

Dr. Allen's contact information is as follows:
2049 NW Hoyt St.
Portland, OR 97209
Tel: 503-226-9990
Fax: 503-961-8755
Email: chrisallenphd@gmail.com
Website: www.drchrisallen.net

Naturopathic Medicine as a means of healing during and after divorce

Courtesy of Dr. Thomas Abshier and Dr. Margo Abshier, here is some information about naturopathic medicine. Those undergoing divorce should investigate all avenues to heal, because divorce takes a physical toll as well as a mental and emotional one. Please feel free to contact the doctors via their website. Their telephone and mail contacts appear at the end of the article.

The Principles of Naturopathic Medicine

The Healing Power of Nature (Vis Medicatrix Naturae)

The healing power of nature is the God given power of living systems to recognize, maintain, and restore the divinely established perfect pattern of health. Naturopathic medicine seeks to activate and release this healing process in all levels of the body, soul, and spirit. It is the naturopathic physician's role to support, facilitate and augment the body's naturally embedded ability to heal itself by using substances found in nature; by supporting the function of damaged tissues and organs with various human crutches such as drugs and prostheses while the body does the actual regeneration and repair; and, by encouraging the patient to engage in proper behavior and deeply embrace a true transcendent faith. It is the naturopathic physician's duty to identify the disease and help the patient remove the obstacles to health and recovery while supporting him or her in creating a healthy internal and external environment.

Identify and Treat the Causes (Tolle Causam)
Illness does not occur without cause. Causes may originate internally and externally, and on many levels of magnitude and subtlety. Underlying causes of illness and disease must be identified and removed before complete recovery can occur. Symptoms can be expressions of the body's attempt to defend, adapt, recover, and/or heal itself. Symptoms may also arise from cellular toxicity, trauma, mutation, infective disease, cellular and organ dysregulation, or other degenerative processes. The naturopathic physician seeks to treat the causes of disease and minimize suffering, rather than to merely eliminate or suppress symptoms.

First Do No Harm (Primum Non Nocere)
Naturopathic physicians follow these precepts to avoid harming the patient:

* Administer the Minimum Dose: Naturopathic physicians utilize methods and medicinal substances which minimize the risk of harmful effects, and apply the least possible force or intervention necessary to diagnose illness and restore health.
* Avoid Suppression: Whenever possible the suppression of symptoms is avoided, as suppression generally interferes with the healing process. Old symptoms may resurface as a “Healing Crisis” for a short time as the vital force eliminates the disease causing agents. Optimum regeneration occurs when the body’s self-healing processes are supported without suppressing the symptoms which may arise in the process of repair.
* Support Natural Processes: Naturopathic physicians respect and work with the vis medicatrix naturae in diagnosis, treatment and counseling. Natural substances resonate more harmoniously with living systems than synthetics, and thus are generally superior healing agents.
* Restore Optimal Function: The primary goal of all treatment and the highest philosophical principle is the restoration of optimal function. Toxic substances and invasive procedures may be administered when a less forceful intervention would be insufficiently effective, and the expected benefit is much higher than the probable degree of harm.

Doctor As Teacher (Docere)
The original meaning of the word "doctor" is teacher. An important role of the Naturopathic physician is to educate the patient in the principles and practices of health, encourage compliance with these ideals, and emphasize self-responsibility for his/her health maintenance and recovery. Naturopathic physicians recognize and employ the therapeutic potential of the doctor-patient relationship.

Treat the Whole Person

Health and disease arise from the interaction of a complex of physical, mental, emotional, genetic, environmental, and social factors. Total health includes spiritual health, and naturopathic physicians encourage individuals to conduct their lives consistent with the highest spiritual principles. Naturopathic medicine recognizes that health requires the harmonious and optimum functioning of all components, elements, layers, and aspects of the body, soul, and spirit. This system is complex, intricate, and interconnected, and the function of the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. The multifactorial nature of health and disease requires a personalized and comprehensive approach to diagnosis and treatment. In the development of a treatment plan, Naturopathic physicians consider the entirety of the living system and its environment.

Prevention

Naturopathic medical colleges emphasize the study of health as well as disease. The prevention of disease and the attainment of optimal health in patients are primary objectives of naturopathic medicine. In practice, these objectives are accomplished through support, education, and the promotion of healthy choices. Naturopathic physicians address the susceptibility to disease by considering risk factors such as heredity, lifestyle, and stresses. The subtle signs and symptoms of degeneration, disintegration, and deterioration can serve as warnings to apply naturopathic interventions prior to the onset of any diagnosable condition. Naturopathic medical philosophy recognizes that optimal health cannot be attained in an unhealthy environment, and is committed to the creation of a world in which humanity may thrive.

Gateway to Health

1414 NE 109th Ave.
Portland, OR 97220
Phone:(503) 255-9500
Fax: (503) 255-1888
Email: naturedox@qwest.net
www.naturedox.com

Eating Disorders in Children of Divorce

A colleague of mine, Anne Cuthbert, has written an article about Eating Disorders in Children of Divorce. Few would disagree that divorce is a stressful time that leads some to cope in destructive ways, such as eating (or not eating) for unhealthy reasons. Ms. Cuthbert is an expert in this field, and she is a Licensed Professional Counselor. If you wish to contact her, you may write to her at 1235 SE Division St, Suite 202B Portland, OR 97202. Her telephone is (503) 766-3399. Her e-mail is anne@cuthbert.org.

Visit Ms. Cuthbert's website: www.FoodIsNotTheEnemy.com

Ms. Cuthbert and I have not exchanged any compensation for her providing this article or my posting it. It is posted simply as a resource shared by two colleagues for the benefit of our clients.

Divorce is a stressful time for everyone, parents and children. The stress of the divorce can even trigger your child to use negative coping skills he or she has not yet utilized. For instance, I child who may already have a tendency toward an eating disorder, may go over the edge during the time of her parent’s divorce. Eating disorders, like all other addictions, are a way to cope and avoid the feelings one is experiencing but doesn’t have a healthy way to express.

Many of the clients I work with can tell me at least one (and usually several) stories about their mother, father or siblings saying something that contributed to their eating disorder. At a time of divorce, these statements may increase, simply because the parent is also struggling with coping with his or her emotions. As parents you have a huge impact on how your child views themselves: good or bad, fat or thin, pretty or ugly, etc. I know you don't intend to hurt your children but sometimes you do.

If you are a parent, I'm sure you try hard not to make the same mistakes as your parents and try to be aware of what you say and do. Below are some suggestions on how you can help your child have a healthy relationship with food and his/her body, at all times as well as during a divorce.

Teach your children to eat when they are hungry
Create a structure around food. Feed your children three meals a day with a couple of snacks. Try to keep meals at about the same time everyday and don't fight about how much your child has had to eat. Allow your child to have snacks in between well-balanced meals, but not so much that they aren't hungry at meal time. In addition, let them have desserts and other things they love. Children are much more in touch with their body's signals than many adults. Trust them to know what they need, to balance it with what they want, and to stop eating when they are full.

Avoid using food as reward, punishment, or to cover up feelings
Teach children that food is about fueling the body, rather than a way to feed emotions or as a reward for "being good." Most of clients have these beliefs. When I talk to groups about food issues, I often playfully mimic a mother saying, "here, have a cookie, you'll feel better" to demonstrate this.

Don't Diet
One of the leading causes of eating disorders is dieting. The ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders) Newsletter, summer 2001 pointed out that "three of the most powerful risk factors for the development of an eating disorder are (1) a mother who diets, (2) a sister who diets, and (3) friends who diet. In addition, girls and women who diet severely [restricting food to excess] are eighteen times more likely to develop an eating disorder than non-dieters."

Discourage children from talking about other people's weight
Teach your children to see beyond how a person looks. Teach them to focus on a person's talents, abilities, hopes, values and goals. The days of judging someone based on the color of their skin or by their religion is over (or, at least we think it is). Yet, fat discrimination persists.

Don't comment on your own weight in a negative way
Nothing teaches "hate your body" more than hearing your mother or father do it. Your children's image of themselves is greatly influenced by you, the parent. If you think you are fat (even if you are not), and see it as a bad thing, your child may eventually see themselves this way too.

Never comment negatively about your child's (or anyone else's) weight
Some parents think they are being helpful by telling their child to lose weight or no one will like them. I understand the desire to do this... after all, in our society this seems to be true. However, doing so can not only lead your child to feel deep shame about themselves but can continue to send the message that there is something wrong with fat people.

Written by: Anne Cuthbert, M.A., LPC
www.FoodIsNotTheEnemy.com

Career Counseling for Adults in Transition

Usually, one or both spouses in a divorce must make a career change or a reentry into the job market. This transition can be scary and confusing. Career counseling plays an important role in calming these fears, and many job seekers have not yet acquainted themselves with the wealth of resources that career counseling provides. Andrea King, MS, NCC is a career counselor in Beaverton. She has supplied the following information as a resource, and it is printed with her permission. Ms. King has neither provided to me, nor received from me, anything in exchange for the posting of this information. If you wish to contact Ms. King for her services or for information, I encourage you to do so. Her contact information is: Andrea King, MS, NCC. (503) 997-9506. aking@careerful.com. www.careerful.com.

1. What is a career counselor?

Career counselors hold a graduate degree in counseling with a specialization in career counseling. Career counselors help people make and carry out decisions and plans related to life/career directions. They may be certified as a National Certified Counselor by the National Board for Certified Counselors.

2. What do career counselors do?

Strategies and techniques of professional career counselors are tailored to the specific needs of the person seeking help. It is likely that the career counselor will do one or more of the following:

(1) Conduct individual and/or group counseling sessions to help clarify life/career goals

(2) Administer and interpret tests and inventories to assess abilities, interests, values, and/or skills and to identify career options

(3) Encourage exploratory activities through assignments and planning experiences

(4) Utilize career planning systems and occupational information systems to help individuals better understand the world of work

(5) Provide opportunities for improving decision-making skills

(6) Assist in developing individualized career plans

(7) Teach job hunting strategies and skills and assist in the development of resumes and cover letters

(8) Assist in understanding the integration of work and other life roles

(9) Provide support for persons experiencing job stress, job loss, and/or career transition.

3. How can I find a career counselor?

Use the telephone yellow pages or access the counselor’s website. Check under career counseling. As you scan names, check to see if they describe their credentials in the yellow page ad. When you call, ask these types of questions:

(1) Are you a National Certified Counselor?

(2) What type of graduate degree do you hold?

(3) Is licensure required to practice career counseling in this state?

(4) Are you a member of a national or state career counseling professional association?

4. What do career counseling clients have the right to expect?

You may ask career counselors for a detailed explanation of services, fees, time commitments, and a copy of their ethical guidelines. Select a counselor who is professionally trained, who specifies fees and services upon request, and who lets you choose the services you desire. Make certain you can terminate the services at any time, paying only for services rendered. Career counseling requires the expertise of a trained professional. Be wary of services that promise you more money, quick promotions, or guaranteed resumes. Career issues are usually complex and require a multifaceted approach by a career counselor who has extensive education, training, and experience. Be skeptical of services that make promises of more money, better jobs, resumes that get speedy results, or an immediate solution to career problems. Professional career counselors are expected to follow the ethical guidelines of organizations such as the National Career Development Association, the National Board for Certified Counselors, and the American Counseling Association. Professional codes of ethics advise against grandiose guarantees and promises, exorbitant fees, breaches of confidentiality, and related matters of misconduct.

5. What did American adults say about their careers in a recent NCDA/NOICC Gallup Survey?*

72% would seek more information on career options if starting over.
80% (who sought it) found professional career counseling helpful.
78% found career information available.
53% see a need for more education or training to increase their earning power.

Adults perceived a need for more education and training.

48% of college graduates.
66% of those with some college education.
47% of high school graduates.
41% of non high school graduates.

What do adults expect to do for the next three years?

62% expect to stay with current employer.
22% expect voluntary job changes.
52% like their jobs and do not want to leave.

*This information was found at NCDA's Consumer Guidelines for Selecting a Career Counselor

6. What are career inventories?

Career inventories (also known as tests or assessments) assess your values, interests, motivational traits, personal work style, personality, skills, and aptitudes. Each type of inventory is designed to gather data and provide you with meaningful feedback to help ensure that you will land in a career you will love, and in which you will be most successful!

The most effective career planning process involves utilizing various types of career inventories. To benefit from career inventory results, it is advised that you have a professional career counselor evaluate them and assist you in synthesizing the information to allow for effective decision making. Do note that there are no right or wrong answers when taking these inventories. Below is an explanation of each type of inventory.

VALUES:

It is important to incorporate your most highly regarded values into your work. A well designed values inventory will help you clarify and prioritize your career-related values. Values are unique to each individual and typically change over time; thus values clarification is an ongoing process throughout your life and career. It is important to periodically review your values and priorities. For example, the values you had ten years ago may be quite different from your values today, and ten years from now they may be quite different again.

INTERESTS:

First developed in the late 1920s, career interest inventories have helped millions of people find their ideal career. A career interest inventory surveys your interests, aptitudes, and preferences and compares the results to occupations that are best for you.

A well designed interest inventory will help you find out more about yourself and how your choices relate to different careers, including making matches with occupational groups and specific occupations. A career interest inventory helps you gain the self-knowledge needed to discover careers and occupations that best match the characteristics of your interests, abilities, and preferences.

PERSONALITY:

A personality inventory is another essential component of career planning; it surveys your personality traits, key strengths, and personal work, leadership and communication styles, providing you with valuable insights about yourself.

SKILLS:

A skills inventory surveys your skills, identifying those skills that are transferable, and preferences in using certain combinations of skills in the future. All occupations can be classified according to the use of skills in three areas: 1) Skills with Things; 2) Skills with Information, and 3) Skills with People. Most occupations use skills in each of these three areas, however, the complexity of skills in each area differs in each job. We often tend to have "tunnel" vision and only see a portion of our skills and accomplishments. Also, it is often difficult to separate our skills from the environment, industry, or application in which they occurred in our employment history. Many skills are transferable to entirely different environments, industries, or applications.

Dream Work

One potential resource, and one that many divorced/divorcing people have perhaps not yet considered as they find ways to heal from divorce, is the concept of dream work. Licensed Professional Counselor Anna Schaum provides services in this valuable area. I have had regular contact with Ms. Schaum, and I trust her integrity and commitment as she works with clients. Here is what Ms. Schaum provides as a resource on dream work, as excerpted from her website, www.annaschaum.com :

"Working from the depth perspective, we invite the symbols, scenes, and landscapes of our dreams to unfold as they will. We avoid applying rote analyses to dream interpretation, but rather seek to create an environment where the dream can come into the light to shed its unique and particular wisdom. In a supportive, collaborative group we use our creativity and intuition, artwork and enactment, to gather clues and glean guidance from these nightly gifts of the unconscious."

I encourage you to contact Ms. Schaum if you believe, as I do, that this work would benefit your healing. She provides individual and group work.

I would also add that I have neither received from, nor provided to, Ms. Schaum any compensation for the posting on this information. I have added it to the blog only because I find it valuable for my clients and anyone who accesses this family law blog as a holistic component of their transition.

Anna Schaum, MA, LPC
Creative, Collaborative Counseling
909 North Beech Street
Portland, OR 97227
503-282-3800
www.annaschaum.com (with an e-mail form on her site)