What to tell kids about divorce, Part 1

Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault. Children do not ask for selfish parents, but they’ll try to accommodate you and blame themselves, even with the irony that all the while the parents are ignoring the kids’ needs and failing to take responsibility. Child-centered divorces are about solutions, not blame and not competition. When you cast blame at each other, they will dart in front of that blame to protect the attached parent. The best way to ensure that they won’t blame themselves is by you as parents focusing on the future instead of blaming each other. Even acknowledging in your written agreement that you affirm the things you’ve told your kids about their lack of blame for the divorce would be a helpful way to get both parents on the same page.