Nesting--one parenting approach after divorce

1. What is nesting? Nesting is an arrangement where parents keep the family home and acquire a smaller residence for each to live in while the other is having parenting time. Nesting rarely works well, because of all the cooperation needed for it to function, but when it does work, it works exceptionally well.

2. What are the advantages of nesting?

a. Cost savings. You don’t need to full-size homes appointed for the children.
b. Stability. The kids don’t have to move or transition between two homes.
c. Unity. The kids see their parents functioning as a cohesive parenting unit, even while no longer spouses.

3. What are the disadvantages of nesting?
a. Continued ties of one parent to the other parent. The purpose of divorce is to cut ties, not create new ones.
b. Confusion. If both parents live in the house, even if not at the same time, the kids may not grasp that the parents are actually divorced.
c. Roommate issues. Who’s using all the hot water or eating the food that one parent bought at one house or the other will be issues, believe it or not.

4. What are the alternatives to nesting?
a. An equal parenting schedule. If the goal is to involve the children substantially with both parents, there are other ways to do it than by sharing a residence.
b. Each parent planning his or her work schedule around the kids’ schedules. That way, you get the benefit of nesting—access to the kids when they and you are most available—without the hassles of sharing a dwelling with your ex.