Where to live after divorce

1) What happens if one parent wants to move far away? If you want to move more than 30 miles from the other parent, as a child-centered parent you need to have a darn good reason. The sad reality is that a judge is probably going to allow the move even if it’s farther—or even much farther—than 30 miles. That’s what a child-centered divorce agreement is often far more family-friendly than any litigated order.

2) Is the standard radius usually adequate? After your parents had just broken up the family, crimped the family’s finances, and put you on a parenting schedule that kept you away from one parent or the other for days at a time, would you want to be told that in addition to all that, you had to live 60 miles away? Stay in the metropolitan area where you live, if possible, and spell out that commitment in your divorce agreement.

3) Why is it important not to move far away? You are teaching your children what’s OK and what’s not, by your own example. If it’s OK for Mom to move away with the children, it sets Mom up as the superior parent and Dad doesn’t matter. If it’s OK for Dad to take off for a new city 300 miles away, Dad is being permitted to abandon the family. Both are wrong. Be very specific in your divorce agreement.

4) Is there such a thing as too close? Being within walking distance of your children is one thing, but living down the street so that the kids don’t even grasp or process the finality of the divorce is quite another and it permits too many boundary-crossings. Craft a radius in your divorce agreement that accomplishes the best of both worlds.