1. Take the county’s required parenting class. The county parenting class in most Oregon counties—and other states as well—is so basic and boneheaded that it pretty much explains the reason we have warnings on hairdryers about not using them in the shower. It’s silly, but it’s a requirement, and you can go with or without your ex as long as each of you completes the course at some point before finalizing your divorce. The classes are given either in hour-long sessions weekly for four weeks or once on a Saturday for a half-day session.
2. Investigate your options. You probably didn’t get married on a week’s notice, and you shouldn’t get divorced on a whim, either. These decisions are going to last a lifetime, so they shouldn’t be entered into haphazardly. Include not only your decisions, but also the underlying rationale for them, in your divorce agreement.
3. Retain a lawyer only as a last resort. Getting a divorce doesn’t mean getting your brain removed. All but a few people can think for themselves. Get information from a lawyer, but don’t give up your concern for civility or your power to decide for yourself.
4. Collect documentation so that you know assets and debts. If you don’t collect them for yourselves, a lawyer will have to get the documents for you, so keep it simple and inexpensive. Anything a lawyer can obtain, you can get on your own.
5. Consider how you will talk to your kids. Deliver the news with your spouse and without blaming each other. Even the best parents cannot always predict how their children will respond.
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