Supervised parenting time: Is it necessary?

1. Agree on the standards that would result in supervised parenting time. Supervised parenting time is an invasion of privacy. A supervisor must stand within feet of the parent and child, like a Secret Service agent. Supervised parenting time is a shield to protect the children, not a sword that a bitter spouse should use to dredge up past issues or invent new ones. Clearly spell out in your divorce agreement the reasons that would constitute a need for supervised parenting time.

2. Decide in advance how you would choose a supervisor of the parenting time with your children. A client of mine finally asked me to supervise parenting time because his ex-wife had nixed every other supervisor. Your divorce agreement should state, even if you don’t need a supervisor now, the education, age, and gender that would be acceptable. That way, if one spouse finds someone who meets those objective requirements, the other parent can’t say no.

3. Decide who would pay for supervised parenting time and how long it would last. Supervised parenting time can get expensive. When a supervisor is paid $40 to $100 per hour, there’s only a limited time that most parents can even afford to pay for the visits. Lest it become a means of squeezing one parent out of the children’s lives, you should have an exit strategy—as soon as X happens, supervised parenting time will end. Usually, supervised parenting time is paid for by the parent being supervised, but sometimes the fee is shared between both parents. Either way, you should specify it in your divorce agreement.