Loving your kids more than you hate each other

Almost every parent would agree that they should love their kids more than they hate each other, and most would profess that they’re succeeding at it. But many actually are not. How do you know whether you are or are not? Did the first conversation you had with your ex about divorce mention your kids prominently? Did your lawyer mention your kids in the first five minutes of your first visit with him or her? Every decision you make in a divorce should explain—in writing, if necessary—the child-centered rationale for each. Even something seemingly irrelevant to the kids, such as retirement plan balances, should be based on the kids’ needs.