Eleven Divorce Myths Debunked, Part 8

When people hear the word “divorce,” their minds rocket toward catastrophe. Sadly, those predictions of doom are often true. But divorce itself doesn’t create a crisis any more than a stick of dynamite explodes a building. Instead, a chain of deliberate actions transforms what could be simple, quick, and inexpensive into a costly, messy, and time-consuming debacle. Family and Divorce Mediator Matthew M. House, J.D. corrects some common myths about divorce so that the public is not terrified by the prospect of their lives collapsing just because a marriage ends.

MYTH #8: My kids can choose where they want to live.

TRUTH: It’s true that kids are given an increasing voice as they get older, but it would be a mistake to let them simply pick where they wanted to live. That way, the parent who serves ice cream for lunch and skips homework time to go to the video arcade would have the fast-track to getting the kids, because the kids would simply choose the more fun home. We don’t want parents to have to compete with each other or manipulate their kids to get on their good side, and we don’t want to stick kids with adult responsibilities by making them choose between two people they probably love equally.