MEDIATOR MATTHEW'S SUMMER STRATEGIES FOR DIVORCED PARENTS

1. What are some summer pitfalls to avoid? Probably the biggest area of conflict is coordinating schedules so that summer activities planned by one parent do not interfere with the other’s parenting time. Ideally, parents would sit down in mid-March and discuss the summer activities when the planning for them begins. Now that we are past that point, it is important to have a meeting as soon as possible. Parents should discuss consistent expectations about bedtimes, activities, allowances, chores, and other routines that may change between the school year and the summer, so the kids are not confused and do not prefer one home over the other.

2. Do we have to maintain the same parenting time schedule in the summer as in the school year? No. Many factors go into the school year schedule, such as the desire to have the children not move between homes during the school week. That idea makes a lot of sense during the school year for stability and to promote the best academic performance. In the summer, with relaxed bedtimes and no school responsibilities, staying in the same home isn’t quite paramount, at least for most people. Having a different schedule for the summer also gives the parent who had less school year parenting time a chance to have some additional time. However, in practical terms, some parents’ work does not afford them any additional time in the summer, so extra parenting time does not do them much good and may actually bore or even endanger the children by having them without a parent while that parent is working.

3. How do we handle paying for summer activities? Parents need to remember that summer camps and activities are for the children’s entertainment, not for the parents to compete and squabble over. The most typical arrangements are either to share the costs equally or to share them in proportion to income. There should also be a maximum amount of expense that the parents will be required to share. Half the cost of a soccer camp is one thing; half the cost of a six-week tropical vacation is quite another.

4. How do we handle longer vacations if we’re alternating weekends and having some weeknight parenting time? Remember that the regular schedule applies to ordinary circumstances, but occasionally there are exceptions that are clearly defined and agreed in advance. Parents can, and often do, make exceptions for one or several weeks of uninterrupted summer parenting time, not necessarily consecutive weeks. That way, each parent can take a somewhat longer vacation with the children or can just relax at home without traveling.

5. Does child support change in the summer? Child support does not normally change in the summer because it is based on a number of overnights for the entire year. However, if parents have an agreement that they will share in the extra summer expenses such as childcare, camps, activities or vacations, there may be more or less money exchanged during the summer. Also, if the summer parenting time schedule changed in a way that was not anticipated and resulted in more or fewer overnights for the year, child support would need to be reevaluated.