Can't Afford to Divorce?

With the historic economic crisis in which our country finds itself, I have heard more than once the idea that the economy has made it so that people “cannot afford” to get a divorce. I want to examine some of the flaws in that thinking.

First, those who would argue that someone lacks the funds to get a divorce fail to understand that the same person would be spending huge financial resources to stay in a bad marriage. When one considers the missed work, compromised physical health, and effects of stress, the savings on one residence instead of two start to be not quite the same bargain.

Second, some claim that if they divorce now, they will be less able to qualify for a home mortgage when they want to buy a home. The solution is simple: Qualify for the loan while you are still married.

Third, some are concerned that they will have to sell their home if they divorce, and they do not want to “give it away” for less than what it might be worth in two years when the housing market recovers. The only people who will be hurt in this housing market are those who are selling but not buying a new home. People who are selling their home now, even at a bargain price, are going to be buying someone else’s bargain if they purchase a new home. It’s a wash.

Fourth, those who have a significant chunk of their assets in 401(k) accounts or other market-based investments that fluctuate with the Dow and other economic indicators contend that they will be disadvantaged if they divorce while the stocks are in the tank. I advocate separating out each of the asset classes when you divide your property. For example, if you intend to split everything equally, split the residential property equity, then split the bank accounts, then split the retirement accounts, and so on. That way, if some types of assets have been more affected than others by the economic downturn, neither spouse has to bear the burden of having his or her share of the assets be more heavily weighted with one class of assets or the other.

In sum, it is hard to see how withholding a divorce (when a divorce is preferred) is a positive idea, because it carries with it a great number of risks, and the reasons that one might put off a divorce are mitigated by solutions that a divorcee might not have considered.