Advantages of Co-Petitioning

The Denver Post reported on May 11, 2009 that a Larimer County (Colorado) man was convicted of murdering a process server who had served him with divorce papers. The tragedy painfully illustrates at least two important principles that were not observed in that case but would behoove all divorcing spouses to consider.

1) Almost all states have a form of no-fault divorce. A reason is not needed to obtain a divorce; irreconcilable differences will do the job. The man, who did not deny killing the process server, said he “snapped” when the process server arrived because he saw the process server as representing the loss of his marriage. If the wife in that case wanted a divorce, she was going to get it. It takes two people to get into a marriage and only one to get out.

2) Co-petitioning is better than one party petitioning and serving the other party. When you co-petition to dissolve your marriage, the husband and the wife go together to the courthouse and file the paperwork jointly. That procedure eliminates the need for one spouse to have the other served with divorce papers. It reduces the surprise that one person may experience, and it takes away the tension that the spouse, his or her children, and his or her co-workers may feel when a stranger or a police officer shows up and sternly asks to speak to the spouse. There is no excuse for the violent, homicidal outburst by the husband in the Colorado case, and his rage may have prevented co-petitioning from even being an option for his wife, but it potentially could have calmed his nerves if he had been more adequately prepared for the documents he was about to receive.